BURNOUT...IT HAPPENS

Let's just keep it real. Sometimes the days are hard and the vision isn't clear. I choose to believe THAT'S NORMAL! We often see and read things about dancer burnout, but what about burnout for those of us working in other facets of dance industry? As a former studio owner, as a teacher, as a choreographer, as a competition employee, as a blogger, I have experienced burnout myself in ALL areas. I would think there's a pretty good chance that most, if not all people, in these professions have felt this way at one time or another; it's just not talked about as freely. Just because we may feel lost, tired, and quite frankly, "OVER IT", there are so many reasons to keep on keeping on! You have probably thought or even said things such as;

• I want to be everything to all people.
• I want to succeed with all I do.
• I never want to miss an opportunity.
• I don't want to say no...ever.

Before you know it, the sinking happens. Who's with me? Can I see a show of hands?

There was a time when I thought I needed to leave this wonderful industry. I had experienced A LOT. I was down and out. Over the span of my career to date, I had been through lies and utter disappoint from a business partner that resulted in walking away from my dance studios and students that I loved dearly. I had an eye opening experience that caused me look to rethink my entire existence in the competition industry. There have been instances where I gave and gave never claiming to know it all or be perfect, and when I tried to think of what I received, I couldn't list much, if anything, but I was told how horrible of a person I was. I have, at times, put my heart and soul into trying to make a difference, only being told I'm not good enough, have my words twisted, how I should have done more when I gave all I had, and even to have people get in my face, sometimes yell in my face. After listening to others who work in this dance business, I know there are heads nodding in agreement saying, "Yes, I have been there" with a specific person or incident in mind. Being a mom, a wife, and a person trying to maintain a very time and energy consuming career, has gotten the best of me on more than one occasion. Am I alone here? I seriously doubt it.  We just keep our chins up, smile, and keeping doing the do, all the while our hearts crumble. So how do we get passed it, knowing we are doing exactly what we should be doing but feeling so lost and tired? One word: priorities.

Sometimes the solution to burnout is just to step back, take a deep breath, and get our priorities straight. I think that 9 times out of 10, that the reason burnout happens is because priorities get out of order and we take on too much, physically and mentally. For me, when I settle down, look at my life in chaos, and think about when and how I am doing this that or the other, and how much I am investing emotionally to certain things, I realize just how out of line things are.

Here is what I do to pull myself away from pity party and move passed the horrible feelings that burnout can bring. I remember the 5 F's: faith, family, friends, fitness, and finance.

1. Faith. God first. I am a religious person and I don't hide that fact. I was raised in the church, and I am raising my son the same way. When I take God out of my decisions and actions, things can quickly take a turn for the worst. I have to slap myself and remember that ultimately I am not in control. God is in control. If I pray and follow His will, things turn out much better in the end. If He takes me to the storm, He will lead me through the storm. He has a plan and all things work out for His good and will. When I keep God in the center of my life, trust Him, and follow what may seem to be a crazy plan, it all works out. He takes away burdens, insecurities, and chaos from my heart. He gives me peace....true peace. With this peace, I find contentment and joy in all things and circumstances. Without God, I am nothing and have nothing.
2. Family second. No one will EVER stand by me and love me the way family does. (And family isn't always blood, but I now know to be VERY selective when choosing true family that isn't blood.) Family provides unconditional love and support. This unconditional love and support gives true happiness. From this my desire to ALWAYS strive for excellence, and be successful, never leaves. I can be ME, just little ole me, with all my quirks and weirdness. I am accepted, flaws and all. Family shows grace and mercy, which allows me to learn how to show grace and mercy to everyone. Lord knows I need to be shown these things on a daily basis. Time with family is fulfilling.
3. Friends third. True friends are friends even when there are miles between you, and lives get busy. Those true friends are also the ones that rejuvenate the soul. True friends that love you, flaws and all, love your family, and not only support you but support your family as a whole, are priceless! When you can find a friend that will LISTEN, even if they don't understand, you have found a gem and a lifeline! Sometimes a little validation and a listening ear goes much further than the other person knows. FUN WITH FRIENDS will always lift spirits. Even if it is down time at the movies, or having a group come over to your filthy house for a last minute cookout, nothing lifts spirits like the company of true friends. Friends, they are important in preventing burnout. Clients, dance parents, dancers, employers, they can all say they love you, but we know the harsh reality of sometimes it's just all talk on their end. True friends on the other hand, they are their to help you pick up the pieces of the tired or broken heart, and see the value you have to offer once more.
4. Fitness both physical and mental is next.  Are you trying to eat healthy, exercise, and take advantage of stress relievers that calm you down?  If your fitness gets out of whack all areas of life suffer.  None of these principles are an island unto themselves.  They all flow together. When I do take care of my body, and my mind, I feel so much better. WHEN I REMEMBER THIS FACT, MY WORLD CHANGES: I cannot control the thoughts, beliefs, and actions of others. I can only control my thoughts, my beliefs, and my actions. Don't believe lies of others. You ultimately know the truth in your heart. Stay in and with the truth.
5. Finance. I know, weird to be last because it takes money to provide. But work is fifth on this list. When you have a deep down satisfied soul, everything comes into line and you can be WAY more productive at work. Perspective: what's really important and what's life or death. Yes, the hustle is real and it is necessary. But what good is anyone who is beat down and run down. There is so much pressure in the dance industry to be this or that, to accomplish this or that, to have such and such on a resume'. When we try to do it all, without thinking about what is really important and what is really at the center, we keep saying yes until we are, well done. Sometimes, "no" or "not at this moment in time" is the best long term answer.

Take time with God to sort through eternal bedrock foundational truths. Take time with family to know how valuable you are and to let those you love know how valuable they are. Time with friends to laugh and/or wind down is important as is time to work on your health and fitness. . All of these things help me when I am burned out. They ground me. They let me know I am where I should be. They lift my spirits and inspire me. They give me peace, clarity, and strength. For me, when I remember the 5 Fs and keep my priorities straight, I am a force to be reckoned with. Without this order, I am a complete and utter failure.

To all of you working in this crazy, but absolutely wonderful industry, it's a gift. We are blessed. Always remember that. We, as studio owners, teachers, choreographers, competition employees, and blogger, have the opportunity to make the difference in someone's life. We can share the knowledge passed down from our wonderful teachers so the art of dance can live on. We have a chance to show others kindness, teach self-respect and respect of others, instill work ethic that will last a lifetime, and teach so many other life lessons which can make an impact on other generations. We are blessed to work in the industry. It is a gift to us, and we are a gift to others....even when we don't feel like we are. We have a purpose....so keep on keeping on!

Dance hard. Dance smart.

Meredith
thecompetitiveedgebymeredith.blogspot.com

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