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New Year's resolutions can be a good thing, but as I saw on social media recently, New Year's resolutions are more often than not the week's to-do-list. With a new year, we all have a chance at a fresh start! How exciting and awesome is that? This year will be my "weed the garden" of negativity, procrastination, and of things unhealthy: physically, mentally, and spiritually. One of my favorite quotes of ALL time is from Ferris Bueller. Ferris says, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you can miss it." This year, I'm going to look around. It is time to continuously be aware. Its time to be thankful not just for the big things, but for the little things and chose to enjoy life and all it's blessings. Things won't always be joyful, but you can chose to find joy in all things. It is time to be present!
This brings me to dance life, studio life. I am reminded of words that were told to me early on in my teaching career. A very wise man by the name of Joel Ruminer said, "If you are going to set an example, make sure to do it in front of an audience." Bad apples...people who are never happy, and always seem to find fault with others. They are out there. None of us are perfect, and none of us on this planet know it all. We all deserve a little mercy and grace, and we should extend those things to others. But, we don't have to continue to play a role in the drama. Consider how life could be if a "weeding the garden" happened and positivity filled the building. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to make an example to get everyone and everything moving in a better direction.
New Year's resolution Number 1: Practice Better Communication. Another wise thing Mr. Joel said was, "If you believe everything your child says about me, then I will believe everything your child says about you." WOW!!! Now that's a statement, isn't it? We all know how young minds and their way of thinking can be altered by emotions. Children of all ages find security and comfort in talking to their dance teachers, especially when they are upset with friends and family. Emotions can jump in and people can say things that aren't exactly the truth because they story is heighten by how they feel at the moment. Unfortunately, some parents can behave like children by setting a terrible example for others. If a situation such as this arises, don't ever assume it is completely accurate. Assumptions create many other problems, and gossip causes even more. Instead of creating something out of possibly nothing or making matters worse, kindly go directly to the studio owner, parent, or fellow dancer instead of everyone in the class or lobby. I promise you, the situation can be taken care of more effectively if you'll do that instead of gossip to everyone else first. Better communication is a great step towards creating a healthier environment.
New Year's resolution Number 2: Stick to your Guns. Studio owners remember; one bad apple really does spoil the bunch. One bad apple can take great apples and make them just is rotten. The stench can take over the room. As hard as it may be, it is best to weed the garden when the first weed pops up. It may be the best student in the class. It may be one of your sweetest students with four siblings, but it is not worth that one parent or one student destroying your studio or taking five other families with them spreading lies all over town. This goes back to Mr. Joel's advice. When you weed the garden, make sure you have an audience. There are two reasons for having witnesses. Number one is that no one wants to be shamed in public. Expelling someone professionally, and kindly with a witness may be enough to keep others from following the same path. The second reason is that the truth cannot be skewed by anyone.
New Year's resolution Number 3: Be the Positive Change. In the new year, stop and think about how you can be a positive influence and contributor to change for the better, not just for your life, but also for those around you. I like to call this "stop the drama". Let's go into the New Year gossip free and full of love! Let's all walk in to the dance studio and in to dance competitions with the goal of being the best you can be while appreciating others being the best they can be! Going back to the basics of good manners and respect of others will make a WORLD of difference within the dance community. Treating each other with kindness and compassion, in addition to showing a little grace and mercy, is the way to go. If you want a positive environment, you must set the standard and encourage it. You can still expel someone and show them love and forgiveness. Love and forgiveness doesn't mean you have to tolerate the bad behavior, but you do have to remain kind. After all, a person should know what the outcome will be if negative behavior continues if they have been warned.
New Year's resolution Number 4: Put Others First. Sometimes it's not bad behavior by anyone, but a studio may no longer be right for a dancer. The studio may not offer the program or classes needed or desired. This may because of enrollment. It may be because there aren't enough dancers interested in taking a class to provide it. It may be that the distance is just too much and they need a studio closer to home. Instead of creating a tense situation, go to your studio owner and explain in a respectful and kind way. If it is lack of a class or such, you never know, with good communication, the program, and/or class you so much desired may be added to the studio. It just may have been that the owner wasn't aware of the desire. When there is mutual respect and honest communication, everyone can still love one another and hug when they see each other without awkwardness. After all, isn't it about the children, what is best for them, their education and growth? Just because a student needs to switch studios, it doesn't mean that they didn't get where they are without the instruction and guidance from the teachers that got them to the current point. It doesn't mean the love is gone. (Now, I'm not talking about the student who has been at 5 studios in 5 years. Studio hopping is a topic to take on another day.) It is important to remember, dancers and parents, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. You may realize that you were better off at your original studio. If communication was good, and everyone ended on good terms, the door is open for you to return. And studio owners, what good advertisement is it for you that a student returned because the grass wasn't actually greener?
New Year's resolution Number 5: Be Kind. Some, not all, of the social media websites are very disturbing to me, as they have become more of a gossip site and a place to spread rumors and accusations rather than share knowledge and information. Before you post things in the new year, stop and think to yourself, "Is this kind, beneficial, truthful, and 100% accurate?" You can still post a less than raving review without being spiteful. For example, if you have a poor experience with a dance competition, you may want to post your experience, but it also may be a good idea to contact the company and politely explain what happened. You may get a better understanding of the company and it's staff, AND get answers. Good communication works well for everyone! When you post in a not so spiteful way, your review, in my opinion, is taken just a seriously as the detailed good reviews because you don't come off as "just a bad sport". This goes for reviews on any business. As my husband says, "You catch more flies honey..."
As we go into the new dance year, let's enter the year with respect. Respect not only for the art of dance but respect for your studio owners, teachers, clients, fellow dancers, fellow dance parents, guest artists, and dance competition staff. Love, respect, manners, and common courtesy combined with joy, kindness, compassion, peace, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and self-control all while striving for excellence. Sounds good to me and that's the path I chose for 2017! Let that be your theme of this new dance year too. One by one, we can truly make a difference in the dance community.
Dance hard. Dance smart.
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